Digitised Navel Gazing

**I think this post is actually turning into one of my greatest ever public pity parties, and I shall mark this post so that I don't ever read it again. Because I hate reading over my angsty shit. You can feel free to skip the whole thing, if you are misfortunate enough to have landed here.**

I thought I was having a good week. At the start, it was all systems go, I had a potential housemate that was not crazy, I had what I thought was a flirtation happening with an attractive man, my sister looked to be moving in and my money problems seemed to be coming to an end.

I spent today sobbing on my own, trying to work out what I could sell to keep my pets. Just typing that set me off again.

As it turns out, my potential housemate found somewhere he liked better. My flirtation has a girlfriend. My sister is moving to Canberra. I am financially fucked.

Only possible solution I can come up with is either stop eating, get 2 housemates or get better homes for my pets.

Ok, I probably should just stop eating, but really, not an option. I can't get ONE housemate, so how the fuck do I plan on getting 2. Who's going to look after my pets better than me?

I should probably explain that better. I am currently renting a 3 bedroom home. It is more than I can afford on my own. I am renting it because my exboyfriend moved out, leaving me with the house. Finding rental accommodation which will let me have 2 pets is nigh on impossible, especially when we introduce the phrase "affordable" into the mix.

I've been waiting for my sister to get her job offers, and I was really hoping that she'd end up staying here in Adelaide and move in with me. But she's not. So, now I need a proper housemate.

It was my birthday this week. And all I feel is older. And also, like a complete loser. I'm 31. The biggest thing I own is my car, worth $4500. I have a shitload of debt. I have no (fuck that autosave is pissing me off) useful qualifications. I've never been overseas. I'm single. It doesn't look like "our" plan for having kids this year is going to happen, seeing as how we broke up and all.

Not that us breaking up is really a bad thing, but it does put a bit of a hole in my plan.

I'm at uni, "studying" for an IT degree, which I don't even know if I really want, I just know I don't want to work in hospitality for the rest of my life and this seems like a better way out of it than many others.

I need a new plan.

I need a new life.